I have given the answer to this question many times. The answer to why I went will be clear to the reader as soon as he reads it. For now, I just want to say that this mistake was beyond my comprehension one day.
Honestly, what I did is unjust; And an injustice that has happened to me before. I still don't have the answer to how I did the same thing to another person. But I did, so there is no way without acknowledging.
I have broken one's heart; Someone who loved me with all his might. Someone who would cry at my harsh words. Whoever was afraid of losing me and I assured him that no, he would not lose me.
I do not know why I gave him a false assurance! Because I didn't love him, I couldn't love him. But in spite of that I have pretended to love him. I pretended because I didn't want to lose his love. And I have given myself this consolation that one day I too will fall in love with him.
That true love is no more. Instead, guilt is being created to pretend to love. The guilt that I have suppressed every time says that just a little time is needed. With a little time, I can fall in love with him.
But no, I couldn't give him time. As the guilt intensified, he finally won. I have to admit that I've been in love with her for so long. I could not live well from the heart.
I do not know what to say without the harsh irony of fate! I could not give my heart to the one whom I wanted with all my heart and soul to let me go from his life but he who wanted to make me his own forever.
I don't know if I deserve anyone else's love after that; Whoever has only one emptiness inside himself, even if he gets love, he has nothing to give! Maybe in the middle again someone will be the cause of unnecessary trouble.
I don't know if there is any forgiveness for this; It is easier to forgive one's heartbreaker, but it is harder to forgive oneself than to break another's heart.
I thanks to @flaxz for the initiative.
For more details and participation please check the link
I am taking part in the #IAmAliveChallenge. The 4 basic points to take part in the #IAmAliveChallenge are
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https://www.wearealiveand.social/hive-155221/@wearealive/we-are-alive-tribe-the-guide