I'm 55 years old and for most of it, I have carelessly navigated my life as good or as badly as any human being could have with many saving graces to allow me to be healthy, with a roof over my head and food on the table.
Being born in Brooklyn, New York and in the toughest of places to be raised; I am proud to be street smart. Unfortunately, I also became a product of the streets.
I teetered between deciding to become the drug dealer or being the customer. This was many years ago and I am never ashamed to talk about my past, because it's who I am, it's my story and I prefer for people to know ME.
I lucked out, because I battled my way through bad decisions, collateral damage and vices; while maintaining a sense of decency and wanting to be liked opposed to hating others.
I eventually got great jobs, went back to school and earned a degree, had amazing relationships and really try not to regret what I could have done differently to be much further in life today.
As you get older, you become more pragmatic and in my case I have become more sensible about my life and life in general.
I am very upfront about not being religious or spiritual. I respect those who are. I was raised Catholic and only because I went to Catholic school for a few years, but I don't go to church. Ironically, I don't consider myself an Atheist either.
What is my purpose? Why do I exist? Where do I go once I pass on?
I don't want another entity, group or person answering those questions for me, because it's not their journey - it is mine.
I do believe that there is a purpose for each one of us and that we are just not on this earth to live it, die and that's it.
I will always remember as my mother was at the end of her battle with cancer, her other battle to figure out the whole religion thing while on her deathbed.
My mother raised my sisters by herself and again being a product of where we were raised, she did it relying on the government. She wasn't the healthiest person, but I'm sure she just focused on making sure we were taken care of.
It was a life of getting by, food stamps, welfare, etc.
Church was never part of our lives, but there was always a respect for it at home. We were never deep into it.
It was when death was knocking that my mother began grappling with her existence and what it meant and where was she going and all the things I'm sure runs through a person's mind as they feel their lives slipping away.
She asked me: "Do you believe I'm going to heaven?"
My answer to her was: "It's impossible for me to believe that you are on this earth just to live and die. That there is something much greater"
One of my cousin's eventually sat with her for a few hours and read bible passages to her and discussed them in length with my late mother and I truly believe, it did help her feel at ease. I couldn't fill that void. I'm cool with that.
What my purpose in life is, that is not answered; because I'm always striving to be a better person and I know that will benefit me somehow before I pass on. Why? Because it's not where I've been it's where I'm going and that in the end will be based on my actions, choices, failures and successes.
My crypto investments, my online marketing journey, my current relationship with my fiancé and her kids and being the best employee for my employers while earning a paycheck, growing my 401K and living a healthy and fit life are my what, why and where.
