Hi Silver bloggers, this is the first time I am posting here. I joined this community a while ago with the intention of posting here but for various reasons I didn't get around to posting. I am happy to be a part of this community and hope to be more regular here.
'Age is just a number' - this has always been my attitude towards age. I have lived all my life enjoying every bit of it, doing what makes me happy. Then things suddenly changed to make life seem like a bit of a struggle. One of the things I loved doing was carrying my camera bag with a couple of lenses climbing rooftops to watch and capture birds and life in general through my lens. Here I share some of the photographs I have taken over the years to express myself.
Then life took a sudden turn last October when I ended up in the ER of a hospital following a heart attack. A surgery later I came back home hoping to restart my life and live it the way I have always lived in the past. It was then my back gave way, a disc prolapse and sciatica have restricted my lifestyle severely over the last year. I cannot carry my camera bag around anymore (the pressure is too much on my back) forget that I can just about drag myself around these days.
I found a wonderful alternative to the camera, thank God for smart phones. I use my phone to take photographs now. The funny thing is that my lumbar support belt doubles up as my phone holder too.
Being restricted in any sort of way has always annoyed me. I love being a free bird. I always challenge the norms a traditional society like ours (Indian) restricts binds us by. I only accept those which are rational and practical, the rest don't apply to me in anyway.
I hate whining and worrying. I take each day as it comes and try to make myself happy every day . Somethings had to be changed so I could continue to do the things that I love doing. One of the things I love doing is gardening and with prolapsed disc gardening was next to impossible. Besides, I fell down couple of times in the garden as my back and legs weren't very supportive of my structure and posture.
After giving it much thought I made my garden rise up to my level. I took my husbands help and had him fix a number of hanging fixtures so I could have a hanging garden. Simple wire hooks that were handmade became my tools and today I enjoy my garden as much as possible. I cannot do as much in the vegetable garden like I did before, but I still grow the stuff I need and work there as much as my condition allows me.
I believe there is so much we can do to keep ourselves busy and happy doing what we love. I love writing and the constant back pain I have doesn't allow me to sit for more than ten minutes at a time so typing out out long posts became impossible. This situation grieved me for over a year, I posted a handful of posts here during that time.
Last month as I completed one year after surgery I decided that it was time I faced my fears and took the bull by its horns. I decided to challenge myself to write one post a day, everyday of November. It hasn't been easy, on days like today when the weather doesn't help my condition I am barely able to sit and yet I have been typing this post over twelve hours, few lines at a time.
The biggest hurdle that all of us face is not our age or our health conditions. It is the mental blocks that we set for ourselves. I have been realizing this truth every day when I finally hit the publish button after having typed my post. It's a victory for me, I am almost nearing the half way mark of the challenge I had take upon myself and I feel wonderful about it.
I didn't promise anyone anything. This challenge is all about me, I promised myself that I will give writing my best shot. I want to prove to myself that I can do what I have set out to do. I may or may not come out in flying colors, but I know I would have given it all I have before I call it quits.
Starting all over again I felt like a newbie, having lost my support base here. That doesn't bother me, I plod on day after day no matter how much support or the lack of it I get. In fact it makes me really happy that now I am on my own and I have a chance to prove myself.
The lessons that I have learned is never to let my situation dictate terms to me. I am the mistress of my life and I am in control over the things I have control over. I take the results as they come, they don't mean a thing to me as long as I have given the task at hand my very best. The satisfaction of having done my best gives me the energy to do more and perhaps even better.
Life is not about successes and failures its about how you live your life. It's not about how much you earn or how much you have but about how much you've enjoyed what you have. Life is about making it count for those you love so you leave a legacy behind. People remember you not for what you have or what you've done (unless you're a genius) but for how you've treated them.
I am not a numbers girl, I am an independent, yet sensitive person. I respect my freedom and those of the others and expect others to do likewise. I am not anyone's girl Friday, I am my own boss. I live my life on my own terms without offending others by my action.
Honestly this life that I live is my best life, its my only life. I realize it is short and so I live it pouring out my best in everything I do. I do my best and hope for the best results. If it comes I receive it with gratitude, if it doesn't I take it in my stride. I worry about nothing and let nothing bother me more than it should. I play the numbers game in my own way knowing that time is not on my side.
All the images used in this post belong to me.
