Tuesday, 14th of February 2023 [46]
Valentines, hey? Love them or hate them, the world-wide celebrations will prevail! I personally am somewhere in the middle of both. Same with birthday celbrations, xmas celebrations and any other mass and commercialised celebrations. I mean... do you need a date in a calendar to buy a gift for a loved ones?
My ex-husband would make a big deal out of all of these. Valentines, Women's Day, Anniversaries, Birthdays, Xmas'es. I could always expect a big bunch of flowers and/or overly expensive gifts for either of these occassions.
When I would come home from work and wanted to hug him though, I'd hear:
'Not now, my heands are dirty'
Or any other other excuse.
'Come, cuddle up on the sofa' I'd ask another day.
'Not now, I'm busy doing ...'
So on fb we would be this perfect couple. Everyone would go ohhh, ahhh, you're so in love, while in real life the intimacy would pretty much not exist. Unless you call sex intimacy, cause I don't. That's what comes out of intimacy.
My next long-term partner was the total opposite of my ex-husband in this area. He'd bluntly ignore ALL of those celebrations. Until the point he once forgot about my birthday! I was in the right mood when it happened. I don't need a big celebrations and expensive gifts, but it's nice when your partner remembers your birthday and just gives you a kiss first thing in the morning with a 'Happy Birthday'.
He would often just buy me things he knew I needed or things that would make me happy on any random day of the year. I absolutely loved it about him,
Where do I stand in all of this?
I guess, right in the middle - like with everything else. I'm like Switzerland in all I do. I don't take sides. I'm neutral.
There are not many things that I hate in this life. Hate is a really strong word, which I avoid using at all cost. If there was one thing that is close to this desciption it is POLITICS. Politicians can say so many words with no essence at all. They give you the answer which makes you more confused than you were before asking the questions. Politics also split the communities into sides.
You have to be left or right, black or white, while there are so many angles and colours in between the two.
So I'm Switzerland. I'm right in the middle:
- It's nice to celebrate LOVE, but does it have to be on a specific day?
- I love you, but I don't have a Valentines card for you. Does it mean I love you less?
- I have 0 money on my account, but I remember it's your birthday, so I will do something special for you.
This kind of neutral.
That takes me to the topic of this week's #ladiesofhive community contest. How do I know I'm in love? What are the signs?
Well, I must say I have been one 'lucky' girl. I have been blessed with being #inlove many times in my life. I can recognise myself being in love almost instantly.
First of all, it's the vibe. My witchy gut is never wrong. It's the feeling I can not describe, but I will sure try.
One sure sign is that I want to be around this person a lot more than any other people. This comes from the person who's favourite person to be around is No 1 - myself. I'm not really a people's person. I guess that's the introverted side of me, which usually disappears when I know and like/love people around me.
Secondly, I think about them just before I fall asleep. Ever since I was a child, I created the habit of imagining the stories in my head, just before I fell asleep. It was a protection mechanism. Otherwise I'd be laying in bed, worrying of what could happen when my dad comes home drank again. So I would imagine nice scenarios, where I am happy, rich and apprecialted/loved.
Only later on in life, once I read many wise books I realised, that unconsciously I tapped into the magnificent art of creation. So many of those fantasies came true years later!
Thirdly, I wake up unusually early without any alarms or a reason that I can think of. Usually, I set 3-5 alarms to get up for anything. Sleep is my favourite thing in the world and I can sleep much more than anyone I know (apart from my mum).
All that said - the above things will apply when I'm in love with anyone and anything. Cause I'm a lover. I fall in love easily. In people, in general, but also with things, experiences, animals, sometimes even with life itself. The latter I experienced for a brief few months towards the end of last year and now it seems I'm out of love again. I'm a bit sad, a bit frustrated and at times indifferent.
Hence why I didn't really expect this Valentines day to be any special this year, but sometimes life has surprises for us.
This morning I barely got out of bed, even though I slept since 7:20pm last night. I had 10.5 hours of sleep by the time my alarms went off and still, I didn't want to get up. I dreamt of sleeping forever again. Sure sign that I'm out of love again. I wanna avoid reality by sleeping.
However, a sneaky smile showed up on my face when I arrived at my desk at work today. How could I not smile? A tulip, baby Yoga and chocolates! Who wouldn't smile seeing this?
There was also a red marker and a knife! So a murder mystery started... who wants me to kill myself on a Valentines Day? 😂😂😂
Just kidding. Of course, the thoughtful person, who left me the gift, used the knife to cut the flower, so it fits the coffee cup - the only thing they could find for a flower. I knew who it was, but still, I walked around my foundry asking who gave me flowers and who owns the knife 😉
One of those things would be enough to make me smile. Just a little thing to say they thought of me on the love day. To show me that they care.
Once I arrived home, I also found another gift. This time from momma nature.
The weekend before I took half of Saturday watering and fertilising my orchids. I saw a little thing that looked like it could be a flower spike. Then last weekend I was susprised to see that this little 'thing' turned into a spike with 4 buds and I was really shocked how quickly this happened. In the past couple years a few 'things' like this totally aborted and I removed them all dried up at the last watering.
Today I almost missed it, but suddenly I remembered and spike, turned on the light in my living room and voila! All 4 flowers are here to show me their love on the Valentines Day 😍😍
I'm really, really happy to see this particular orchid (Coelogyne Intermidiate) in bloom. Mainly because it hasn't bloomed for a few years and also because I have a draft about her and I was hoping to update it with the most current flowers. I hope the flowers will still be fresh for more pictures in a daylight on Friday :)
Before I go, I want to give you a sneaky Valentines gift. If you happen to read this part, leave the comment with 'blue' code-world in it. I want to give 3 units of SBI (1 each) to those who read till the end. If there are more than 3 takers, I will give to first 3 people this week and follow up with more next week, once my Hive stash grows a little more again. I have found out about SBI Units from Alexanrd @stdd and I think it's a brilliant way of sharing the blessings with the fellow Hivers.
Until next time 💙
| Camera: | iPhone11, iPhone7 |
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| Photographer: | @fantagira |
