The Day of a Cryptomaniac

in Comedy Open Mic9 days ago (edited)

12:12 AM.

The first alarm clock in the next room rings, as no one is allowed to be this brash at this early hour. Who came up with those annoying iPhone alarm clock sounds anyway? "If Steve Jobs was as cranky as that, I'll sell this monster tomorrow," thought Steve, hugging his pillow and bathing head in a blanket. Even if it was namesake. Especially if he was!

Steve almost never remembered his dreams when he woke up, but sometimes these stories would come to him at random times of the day and make him smile. As he fell asleep, he returned to a conversation with a long-legged brunette who was telling him about the ridiculousness of feminism, cars, 2Pac, and the prospect of cryptocurrencies. By the way her prediction was: Bitcoin $500,000, Ether $10,000 in 2 years and 222 days.

Hmmm, how old did you say you were...?

1:13 PM.

The second alarm clock grew legs and came from the next room to give a savory flurry of sound waves to his eardrums. No, it wasn't. The phone was indeed lying right in front of my face and squealing like a newborn piglet. "I'm totally going to sell you," thought Steve. Today! And no, there's an outline of the next 1,000 Hive posts, I'll sell in 1,000 days...

1:14 PM.

His left hand brushes his teeth and his right hand launches Rising Stars to complete the millionaire's mission. Every self-respecting would-be millionaire just has to start the day with a million. But it looks like today will only be a million clicks on the keyboard and a million WTF? He could use a little positivity and some coffee and music. His left hand is brewing coffee, his right hand is scratching his head, not knowing where that black Sony speaker is. It's only a few inches, but his neighbors convince him it's like a refrigerator. That's if you consider its sound and knowing his entire repertoire by heart. Anyway, if the neighbors come to visit Steve, they'll sing along to his entire playlist. At least the choruses...

3:15 PM.

Oh, it's about to get dark outside, and it got its first snow yesterday. Or was it the day before yesterday? Well, maybe a month ago. With all this snow and night shifts, it's never clear. Stop! I'm going to take some pictures and do my Actifit steps! There seems to be some tokens dripping in there too. In a bull market, for sure I'll have a million in my pocket. And what did I do all this time for 2 hours? Well, I remember running the 3-hour mission Rising Star and open comments in Hive. Here's an upvote, here's a thank you, here's a please (everyone's so damn polite), followed the chain to a couple of posts... went over again... Crossed over again... Okay, business as usual! This Web3.0 is really more addictive than 2.0. Thank goodness there are no half-naked chicks and successful cats with 1000 likes, or else I'm already feeling flawed today...

4:16 PM.

It's getting dark outside and I decided to check my Splinerlands rental 5 minutes ago. What? It's been an hour and I haven't even pulled my pants on yet. Oh no, yet one leg was already on. Okay, there's 50% left to make this event a success. Shit, I haven't eaten yet today, so I'm gonna go to the store. I'm gonna get some vegan onion and dill chips. I decided to eat right yesterday...

5:17 PM.

Walking outside, Steve meets his downstairs neighbor, who smiles and calls him a music lover. Not shouting is already a good thing. So tonight will be another set of rap, rock, classical, and Deep House music.

Since Steve doesn't remember anything at all from the past hour, I can only assume it was Hive-Engine learning again. New and old tokens, their connections and their usefulness to the entire Hive ecosystem. Oh, he could think and reason about that for hours. The long-legged brunette in his dream would have a moral orgasm from the very first minutes...

6:18 PM.

I'll go out a little early tomorrow, because there's not enough light for good pictures. I'll get up at 9am and do the run I was going to do yesterday a year ago. Just living like a freak. Or a geek? Doesn't matter, I'm loved by Web2.0 as it is. There's a main photo with a big smile and 2 sentences about success in everything in life. Although I haven't been there in a couple of weeks. Ok, I'll write another post today about how important it is to be important!

7:19 PM.

WhoaWhoa! It's evening and I haven't written my own post yet! I promised myself I would write every day a year ago. So, what was interesting today? Everything and nothing. I mean, what could be interesting in my thoughts for another person? Nowadays everyone writes about money, markets, photos of their beaches... I have no money, no beaches with palm trees, and no desire to cry about bitcoin. Crying about destiny? The guys from Africa will just laugh at my wailing. lol. This will be a post on Comedy Open Mic. Yeah, this will be my first post to this community and first stand up ever... I should throw in some swear words, which I don't normally do. I don't give a fuck about foul language! That's fine.

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This is funny and so cool to read.
I enjoyed this dear.
It sounded somehow like someone else story.

It's a mix of the real with the unreal, but something that makes me smile every day. 😅 !LOLZ
!PIZZA
!invest_vote

My father wants me to study law and be a good lawyer
He needs me to get him out of jail.

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(1/6)

I thought as much.
A great blogger skill😁

@stdd denkt du hast ein Vote durch @investinthefutur verdient!
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Lol... You found yourself a post from your alarm wrecking day 😂

I still wonder how I stay the whole day only to start thinking of what to write late at night, it happens to me a lot.

Didn't know iPhone has an annoying alarm clock? We learn everyday 🤣

Welcome to Comedy Open Mic, we look forward to reading more of your boring days hehe

Oh, thank you so much! This is really important to me!
!invest_vote
!CTP

@stdd denkt du hast ein Vote durch @investinthefutur verdient!
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LOL, I laughed a lot with your story, in some part it seems very much of any mortal's daily life.
Thanks for your post and making me smile a lot.

!ALIVE
!CTP
!BBH

@stdd! Your Content Is Awesome so I just sent 1 $BBH (Bitcoin Backed Hive) to your account on behalf of @edgerik. (2/5)

@stdd! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @edgerik. (2/30)

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😜 !LOLZ
Thanks, brother! 🙌🙌🙌
!PIZZA
!invest_vote

Why was the banana denied bail?
Every judge knows bananas splits.

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(6/6)

@stdd denkt du hast ein Vote durch @investinthefutur verdient!
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How many things go through your mind. A day with thoughts of a bit of everything.
Greetings

Yes, it is.) I just had to show it in the post. 😜 !LOLZ
!invest_vote

Seagulls were God's third attempt at creating birds.
The A-gull and B-gull weren't quite right.

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(3/6)

@stdd denkt du hast ein Vote durch @investinthefutur verdient!
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My cat is my alarm clock, but too early. Go back to sleep I do.
Very creative how you talk about your day in the third person
!PGM

Go back to sleep I do.

😅💪 !LOLZ
Thanks, my friend! 💛❤️🧡💙
!invest_vote

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.

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(1/6)

Influenced me Yoga has
!LOLZ

Without geometry...
Life is pointless.

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Sent 0.1 PGM - 0.1 LVL- 1 STARBITS - 0.05 DEC - 15 SBT - 0.1 THG - tokens to @adysscheryl

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BUY AND STAKE THE PGM TO SEND A LOT OF TOKENS!

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@stdd denkt du hast ein Vote durch @investinthefutur verdient!
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Surprised

!LOL
What a day friend. The alarm clock and all that...

My grief counsellor died recently.
He was so good I didn't care.

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(2/2)

Yeah... 😅 !LOLZ
!ALIVE
!invest_vote

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@stdd denkt du hast ein Vote durch @investinthefutur verdient!
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Awesome work my friend have the best one bro
@stdd
@ironshield nominated you for a prize in the draw
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Thanks, bro, a lot! 🙌
!CTP
!invest_vote

You are welcome mate have the best one
@stdd
!ALIVE
!LUV

@stdd denkt du hast ein Vote durch @investinthefutur verdient!
@stdd thinks you have earned a vote of @investinthefutur !

WhoaWhoa! It's evening and I haven't written my own post yet!

Been there, brother. Been there. !ALIVE !LOLZ

Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback.

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😅 !LOLZ 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I changed all my passwords to Kenny
Now I have all Kenny logins

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This is quite funny friend
!LOL

I was in the Post Office queue yesterday when Diana Ross tried to push in.
I said “You can't hurry love, you'll just have to wait...”

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Thanks, brother! 🙌
!CTP

You are welcome. Enjoy the rest of your day

I would have called this more sketch comedy than stand-up, but I won't split semantics over some antics.

Funny stuff, I loved the lost time from Hive-Engine learning, and I agree...

(everyon's so damn polite)

I really had a problem with this for a while, but they gave me back my Twitter account, so now I just get my rage fix over there.

I really had a problem with this for a while, but they gave me back my Twitter account, so now I just get my rage fix over there.

😅 !LOLZ 💪🔥
!CTP

Why are cats bad storytellers?
Because they only have one tale.

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